The Price of Freedom
One of the great ailments of human existence is the experience of rush. We rush through an airport and feel pressure. We rush towards a deadline and feel anxiety. We rush into relationships and feel unworthy. The future looms ever forward and we can rarely find the time to meet it. We are in too much a rush to be still.
Rush projects in a variety of emotions. When we are not on time, we might feel shame or guilt at letting others down. When others are not on time, we might feel righteous or upset. When we feel a scarcity of the precious gift of hours, we might feel stressed or anxious.
The cure to rush begins at the understanding that its source is the fear of death. The Yoga Sutras of Patajanli of 500 BCE posits that the fear of death is the source of all fear. Indeed, it is the ego’s belief that death is the end of its existence that leads us to rush: an ever present fear that we are missing out on life because it is finite.
Spiritual teacher Byron Katie shares that it is not a thought that creates suffering; it is that we believe the thought. Thus, the first step to freedom is to question our beliefs. Byron Katie prescribes four questions in this challenge:
Is this thought true? (yes/no)
Can you be absolutely sure it is true? (yes/no)
How do you react when you believe this is true?
Who would you be without this belief?
Give these four questions a try on any thought of rush that might sway you from inner peace: missing a deadline, flight, or appointment, for example. Can you be absolutely sure that it will lead you to the unpleasantness you imagine? The future is full of uncertainty and opportunity. How do you react when you believe this thought? Draw awareness to the noise in your mind and the constriction in your body. Your heart might pump faster, jaw clench tighter, and thoughts scatter.
Now… who would you be without this belief? You might be more free, easeful, harmonious, forgiving, loving, present, and peaceful. You might be the version of you that could face challenges with greater clarity and power because you wouldn’t be hindered by self-imposed pressure. You could realize that the unpleasantness that you imagined is the very source of the unpleasantness that you feel.
This practice is merely an opening because rush is often the tip of the iceberg of a bevy of beliefs. For example, if you miss a flight, you could catch another one. However, that would cost more money… the thought of wasting money might make your stomach curl. Why is this? Where is this next layer of fear from?
It is helpful to ask “then what?” to discover the hidden beliefs behind the fear. Taken enough steps, the chain of “then what’s?” always ends at the fear of death.
“I will have to buy another plane ticket.” Then what?
“I will waste money.” Then what?
“I will not be able to afford rent.” Then what?
“I will be on the streets.” Then what?
“I will feel too ashamed to work.” Then what?
“I will not be able to afford food.” Then what?
“I will starve to death.” …and then what?
At each step, we have the opportunity to question our beliefs, allow the inner sensation of the fear, and then let go. When we arrive at the fear of death—if we were to truly allow ourselves to feel this fear, to not deny it or push it away or swallow it up with pride—then we could actually surrender this fear, too.
This is the gateway to the pathway of Nothingness: a total dissolution of beliefs and identity, which then creates complete openness to the world. Some call this becoming “unfuckwithable”: nothing in life can phase you because every avenue no matter the twist or turn always leads to presence instead of disappointment.
Imagine living a life free from fear, anxiety, stress, guilt, and hurt. Imagine the peace of being instantly forgiving, to enjoy every moment as if it's your first, to love every moment as if its your last. Imagine surrendering the final belief that death is the end: who would you be without this thought? The price for freedom is simple in concept, but a lifelong pursuit: as Shakespeare wrote, “die before you die, so that you can enjoy life fully.”
