Why is This Happening For Me?
Consciousness is a dance between shadow and light. One of the most profound transformations occurs when we step from victimhood into sovereignty and then creatorship. This transition transcends mere change; it is a metamorphosis, a radical transmutation of self. When we are in victimhood, life is happening to me. When we are in our sovereignty, life is happening for me
When we are in our truest Power, life is happening as and through me.
The Perceptual Pivot: From "To Me" to "For Me"
When enshrouded in victimhood, the world imposes itself upon us; it happens to us. Yet, what we often overlook is the omnipotent power of perception. A shift in perception, from "Why is this happening to me?" to "Why is this happening for me?" instantly liberates us from the clutches of passivity and paves the path toward sovereignty.
Sometimes, one can feel fear like scarcity and then project this onto someone else, thinking that others are wanting to steal or take advantage of them. Sometimes, one can feel guilt and then project this through victimhood, believing that others are making them feel this way. But true freedom is found in seeking out “why is this happening for me?” It assumes the benevolence of life, the Universe, and God.
In sovereignty, we become aligned with the understanding that life is happening for us. It is here that we come to a sacred realization: In our truest power, life unfolds as and through us.
The Fingers Pointing Back: A Journey into the Self
Blaming others is but a reflection of our internal struggles, a phenomenon comparable to gazing into a mirror obscured by our own fog. If we dare to clear the haze, to look beneath the anger, what we find are layers of repressed emotions—fear, guilt, and shame. This is what renowned psychologist John Gottman refers to as the 'Anger Iceberg,' a metaphor revealing that beneath the visible emotion lie deeper, often concealed sentiments.
Through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), these are the protective layers that shield our inner child, the wounded and tender part of ourselves. Maybe as a child we had a parent that yelled at us when we made a mistake, and so a part was formed that would be vigilant against outside judgment. This part can then project onto others when it feels judged and perpetrated against. But maybe others are trying to provide constructive feedback that can actually support you in growth.
Emotional Alchemy: Transmutation Through Consciousness
Our resistance to life's lessons is the cornerstone of suffering. The Buddha wisely proclaimed, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." What distinguishes our experience is not the pain itself, but our response to it. Here, the act of pausing is revolutionary. It grants us the gift of time, allowing us to respond rather than react.
There is value in pausing because it gives us time to respond rather than react. We can observe our thoughts: do we immediately seek out a perpetrator? Do we assume mal-intent from others, the Universe, or God? How quickly do we react with anger, annoyance, frustration, despondency, or resentment? Anger, once a formidable adversary, now becomes our instructor, illuminating the depth of our being.
The Wisdom of Embracing the Other: A Shift Towards Relational Enlightenment
The philosophy of Emotionally Focused Therapy, expounded by Dr. Sue Johnson, serves as a testament to the profound transformation achievable in relationships when we entertain the idea that the other could be "right." What would it be like to shift from a combative stance to one of curiosity? "You’re right. What do you have to teach me?" With this perspective, every interaction, every pain point, becomes an opportunity for growth, a chance to peel away our protective layers and become more authentically ourselves.
Conclusion: The Unfolding of Truth Through the Lens of Sovereignty
The journey from victimhood to sovereignty and ultimately to creatorship is not for the faint of heart. It demands an unwavering commitment to self-exploration and growth. Yet, it offers the most sublime reward: an unburdened existence, imbued with a profound sense of peace, empowerment, and communion with the Universe. It represents an alignment so harmonious that it bridges the gap between thought and being, embodying the very essence of spiritual liberation. It is, indeed, both the journey and the destination.
