The Power of Love
What would be more healing: an hour with Freud or an hour with Ram Dass? This question underpins a nuance of the psychospiritual process that lays at the heart of Ceremonia’s thesis: that unconditional love is the soil in which healing grows. Being in the presence of one who has touched enlightenment is far more impactful than a psychotherapeutic session. If you accept this as a possibility, the real question is: why?
Life seeks to create life. All of life is aimed at safety so that life can create. There are two forms of safety: inner and outer safety. Outer safety is found in the setting… are we warm? Is there food around? Can we trust the people around us? Inner safety is our mindset… do we feel safe to be with our own emotions, thoughts, and experiences?
When we were babies, we learned that experiencing our emotions and expressing ourselves was unsafe. Every time our parents said “stop crying” or “that’s not okay”, we learned to suppress our experience of ourselves. Every time we witnessed our parents suffer–whether through arguing or crying–we began to learn to safeguard ourselves from the world and others. Every time we were disciplined, we learned to hide who we really were in order to meet the expectations of others. This pattern of inner safety can continue into adulthood if it isn’t addressed and healed. We can find ourselves in situations where our emotions and thoughts are not accepted by those around us, so we end up disconnecting from them entirely.
When we encounter unconditional love, we can often look at it suspiciously. Most of us have never experienced unconditional love except from a child or pet, or at an early age from our parents. We may find ourselves subconsciously attacking the love, or feeling unworthy of it. These difficulties can manifest in unhealthy relationships with others. We might be quick to judge people for their actions, unable to accept their mistakes and flaws as part of being human. We could also stay away from friends, family, coworkers and romantic partners out of fear that we'll be judged harshly or that they won't love us if we make a mistake.
So why would an hour with Ram Dass be exponentially more healing than an hour with the world’s top psychotherapist? It is because we can feel utterly safe to be ourselves. All the shame, guilt, anger, and fear could be met with acceptance, love, and even reverence. We can feel this in the presence of people who have taken their own journey and arrived at a place of love and understanding. In the presence of unconditional love, we can find peace. There is no need to prove ourselves because we are perfect as-is. There is no need to shy away or hide because we are seen completely and deeply as we are.
While we facilitate a synthesis of psychology and spirituality, the most important aspect of our work is to embody love so that people can find their own healing within themselves. It's only by coming to terms with our need for unconditional love that we can open up to relationships and connections with others. We must learn to accept ourselves, flaws and all, in order to fully embrace the idea of unconditional love from another person.
