Enlightenment is often viewed as an impossible state to achieve. The notion might seem only reachable through a monastic life of renunciation and devotion to meditation. Even at the beginning stages of learning to meditate, a few seconds of quieting the chatter of the mind might seem elusive. So how can we possibly experience a state of permanent transcendence?

Like any goal, enlightenment is a path that is moved towards, not a switch to be turned on. Like any skill, it is something that can be practiced and then mastered. Like any practice, there are tools to accelerate the process. Enlightenment is classically defined as a non-dual state of being with the totality of experience. In this state, the dualities of good or bad, attraction or aversion, and self and other merge into one. We are able to hold and be with all that we see, feel, and think with complete acceptance and reverence.

We hold our feelings in our body. We interpret them through the mind, which naturally filters what we want or don’t want. Close your eyes and feel inwards. Allow yourself to be with what you hold inside. Visit a memory of love. Visit a memory of grief. Can you feel the mind’s pull to distract, discount, or turn away? Can you feel the mind’s pull to feel something differently? The practice of being with our inner sensations is the first step to allowing all of our experience through. Pain is just cracks that love has yet to fill.

Once we have created space for our feelings, we can then witness the impact that life and others have on us. We are constantly influenced and impacted by the world around us. When someone opens the door for us or gives us an embrace, when someone yells at us or leaves the room abruptly, we can hold onto this emotional charge and store it away in our bodies if we don’t give it the grace of attention and awareness. There is a relational skill of allowing ourselves the space to feel the impact of life while being with life that lends to the practice of non-duality. We can be with ourselves and the other at the same time deeper and deeper until the boundaries between self and others dissolve away.

This is something we call “stretching”. It is the practice of stretching awareness to extend beyond the inner thoughts and feelings that lay in the privacy of our hearts. It’s a practice of developing greater capacity to experience and register the subtle energy in our surroundings. This can lead us to a greater understanding of ourselves and others, allowing us to be open-hearted in our relationships.

Like the physical body, stretching our awareness can lead to mastery. Imagine walking through life with total attunement to the effect others have on your inner world. Imagine being with others so directly that every measure of energy that you express carries impact to them that is clear for you. Suddenly, the mysteries of relational dynamics become clear. Masculine and feminine polarities can be obvious. Conflicts don’t carry charge anymore because there are no more misunderstandings. We don’t hurt others anymore because the pain to ourselves would be intimate.

The path towards enlightenment begins with intention. We set the intention to heal, to stop resisting life, to choose the inner work instead of outer accomplishments. Then, we cultivate a practice of awareness and mindfulness. We practice being present with ourselves and others.

We observe our emotions without judgment or reaction. Gradually, we become better able to decipher what these feelings are trying to tell us about ourselves and how we interact with each other. This process is rewarding in itself, leading to ever higher levels of peace, love, and joy.